There is a room downstairs filled with clutter from my past. My son’s chaotic clutter fills my life too… not just downstairs but everywhere if I let him. Without his stuff… I make my space functional and beautiful… a pleasure to be in. Right now I am clearing his stuff and my own from my downstairs room… I can see glimpses now of it as an actual room again… not just a dusty, dirty storage space….

This is where I first ran my business. I birthed it upstairs, but I nurtured and nourished it down here. I am in tears, time-travelling as I meet the 30-year-old me of then and she, me. I made a plan to renovate it too… to make it a livable space, but I only got halfway. Wiring is in place, but no power moves through. It’s still so dark below, so a light on an extension lead will have to do.

Problems upstairs, a hole in the roof caused water to run down the walls and damage underneath. I built a new deck upstairs, too, so I could have more space outside and see the stunning mountain view, but the roof (for more shelter and vision) and bifold doors (for light, safety and view) were too heavy for the foundation, and now the house is sinking and the windows are askew.

This house and land are precious to me. … more precious than I can say. But… there is so much work to do to make it good again… effort to make and money to spend. I’ve toyed with letting it go over the years… but my son was born here… on the lounge room floor, and my best friend Charly, now gone, built the stairs.

My best girlfriend, Jo, also gone, lived here, too. She wrote a book about it; the place inspired her to.

There is an energy here… unlike any I have felt in other places. It creates a cocoon… a powerful catalyst for the deep to flow.

I am going through a process of deep alchemical change. And as I do, I clear out the bottom room… I am helping to clear Jade’s stuff again, but I am making him help me, too. There is no real place for his stuff to go yet, and he keeps moving it from one place to another. He is getting rid of some things, though.

And so am I… A lot is no longer useful.